Supporting someone going through a cancer journey is an act of love and solidarity, but it can also be challenging. In our desire to help, we often make mistakes that, despite good intentions, may not benefit the person we wish to support. Here, we will explore some of these common mistakes and how to approach them more effectively and empathetically.
1. Expecting Them to Always Be Positive and Smiling
It is common to hear phrases like “you have to stay positive” or “a smile can fix everything.” While a positive attitude can influence well-being, we cannot ignore that people with cancer also experience fear, anger, sadness, and frustration. All these emotions are valid and part of the process.
Denying or minimizing these emotions can lead the person to suppress them, making it harder to manage and eventually transform them into something constructive. As supporters, we must create space for these emotions to be expressed and acknowledge them without judgment. Validating feelings with phrases like “I know this is hard, and it’s okay to feel this way” can be much more comforting than demanding constant optimism.
2. Insisting on Plans and Social Activities Like Before
Another common mistake is trying to cheer the person up by suggesting they go out, make plans, or maintain their previous social life. While well-intentioned, it’s essential to understand that during a cancer journey, priorities and needs change.
Often, the person may lack the energy or desire to socialize. They may need more time to be at peace, reflect, or simply rest. This is a moment of introspection, where reconnecting with oneself and prioritizing self-care become essential. Respecting these moments and avoiding pressure can be a profoundly empathetic gesture.
3. Using Phrases Like “Everything Will Be Fine” or “Don’t Worry”
When we want to lift someone’s spirits, it’s tempting to use optimistic phrases. However, these phrases, though well-meaning, can feel hollow or dismissive of the person’s real concerns. Instead of trying to eliminate their worries, it’s more helpful to listen actively and validate their emotions.
One way to do this is by asking open and direct questions that show your willingness to help, such as:
- “How can I support you?”
- “What can I do for you right now?”
These questions not only offer practical support but also give the person control over how they want to be helped, an essential factor during a time when many things may feel out of their control.
4. Remembering That the Process Takes Time
It’s true that a positive attitude and mental strength are fundamental in facing cancer, but these are not changes that happen overnight. This is a process that requires time, patience, and, above all, respect for the steps the person needs to take.
Supporting someone doesn’t mean rushing them. It means being present, accepting their pace, and being a consistent source of support without imposing expectations.
An Empathetic and Compassionate Approach
Cancer affects not just the body but also deeply impacts emotions, the mind, and the spirit. Properly supporting someone involves understanding that everyone faces this journey differently. Our role is not to dictate how they should feel or act but to be a support system that adapts to their needs.
Validating emotions, offering concrete help, respecting their time, and accepting moments of introspection are all ways to provide genuine support. Sometimes, the most powerful gesture is not saying anything but simply being there.
Supporting someone with cancer doesn’t have to be perfect, but it should come from a place of love, empathy, and respect.
You can also read my blog post on the Best Tips for Managing Breast Cancer Treatment Side Effects.
With love Ana!
The information provided in this post is for educational purposes only and is not intended as medical advice. It is essential to consult with a qualified healthcare professional before making any changes to your sleep habits or lifestyle. While creating an optimal sleep environment can contribute to better sleep quality, individual experiences may vary. Additionally, addressing underlying sleep disorders or health conditions may require personalized treatment from a healthcare provider.